I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
