Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
