sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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