i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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