thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
why is half of my head shaved?
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