we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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