I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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