have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
