Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate all girls vehemently.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
