You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
