Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
