my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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