People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
