Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
