You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
