Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize