so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
