i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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