I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
