If that was your dad, he is hot
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
