dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well you can't waste a boner
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
