I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
