Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
