I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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