i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
