I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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