I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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