She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
