Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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