spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
