Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize