Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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