I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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