next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Someone came in the potted fern
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
