ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
