the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
