____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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