New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Green mimosas i think yes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
