If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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