Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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