The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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