We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ttyl tear gas
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(