I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.