if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT