He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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