Can Purell be used as lube?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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