Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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