Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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