butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this will be a night to untag.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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