Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
