I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
