I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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