Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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