Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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