So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
