I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
FUCK WHALES
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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