Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
