So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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