she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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