Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
