Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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