I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
