why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
