porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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