You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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