Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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